Tuesday, 15 May 2012

10 Days & 10 Tips

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

The Day is coming nearer. 10 days left to change the marital status from single to a married life. Honestly speaking, I feel like it's just a dream because I am still the same person; clumsy and childish.

My mom once said that "Marriage is a new world". When you get used to make everything by your own, now as a wife, you have to get all permissions from the husband. When you get used to be independent, as a wife, you will depend on others and will be depended. Everything will change, but please let the IMAN constantly increased and KNOWLEDGE is continuously gained.

Each person has a dream to be happy. Although my own name can be defined as a HAPPINESS, I'm trying to find and create my own happiness, of course for the sake of Allah.Prof Naquib al-Attas said that Sa'adah can be understood by understanding its opposite which is Shaqawah - rendered into English approximately equivalent of ‘great misfortune’, ‘misery’, ‘straitness of circumstance’, ‘distress’, ‘disquietude’, ‘despair’, ‘adversity’, ‘suffering’. Happiness as mentioned in the Quran not only refer to secular realm, but importantly towards the spiritual realm, because attaining happiness is not an end in itself as the purpose of that is directed to God - Love of God that directed to the Hereafter, related to self both body and soul that is not in the state of doubt. (Refer HERE)

Therefore, to be happy is not only for this world, but for the Hereafter.

In addition to that, I just wanna share 10 tips to a Happy Marriage (similarly not in the world only, but forever in the Paradise), as Allah said: “Enter Paradise, together with your spouses, and rejoice." (Surah al-Zukhruf, 43: 70)

TIPS 1: Fear Allah SWT.
It was the noble practice of Rasulullah PBUH to remind the spouses about the fear of Allah before performing a Nikah by reciting the verses [al-Nisa: 14, al-Ahzab: 69, Ali-Imran: 10) from the Quran. All the verses are common in the message of Taqwa (fear of Allah). The spouses should be first committed to Allah before being committed to their partner. There can be no doubt in the success of a marriage governed by the fear of Allah SWT.

TIPS 2: Never be angry at the same time.
Anger is the root cause for all marital disputes, One companion came to the prophet PBUH and sought some advise. The Prophet PBUH replied, "control your anger" (La Taghdab). The same advice was rendered three times.[Bukhari]. Narrated by Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.".[Muslim]

TIPS 3: If one has to win an argument, let it be the other.
The Prophet PBUH said: "Whoever discards an argument despite being correct, shall earn a palace in the center of Jannah" [Bukhari]

TIPS 4: Never shout at each other unless the house is on fire.
Luqman while offering advice to his son said: "and lower your voice for verily the most disliked voice is that of a donkey" [Surah Luqman: 19]

TIPS 5: If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
The Prophet PBUH said: "A Mu'min is a mirror for a Mu'min" [Abu Dawud]. Advise with dignity and silently.

TIPS 6: Never bring up mistakes of the past.
The Prophet PBUH said: "Whoever conceals the faults of others, Allah shall conceal his faults on the Day of Qiyamah" [Muslim]. And please do remember that everyone makes mistakes and not perfect. In Islam, it is generally not recommended to dwell on the past. So it will be of more benefit if a person does not repeat or bring up the mistake which they had done in past.

TIPS 7: Neglect the whole world rather that your marriage partner.
The Prophet PBUH confirmed the advice of Salman to Abu Darda RA for neglecting his wife, "Verily there is a right of your wife over you". [An-Nasa'i]

TIPS 8: Never sleep with an argument unsettled.
Abu Bakar RA resolved his dispute with his wife over feeding the guests before going to bed. [Bukhari]

TIPS 9: At least once everyday, express your gratitude to your partner.
The Prophet PBUH said: "Whoever does not show gratitude to the people, has not shown gratitude to Allah" [Abu Dawud]

TIPS 10: When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness.
The Prophet PBUH said: "All the sons of Adam are vulnerable to a lot of mistakes; and the best among those are the ones who seek a lot of forgiveness" [Al-Tirmidhi].

Reference: HERE

I end with this Quranic verse. Allah said: “And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” (Qur’an 30:21)

Last but not least,

**O Allah, ease everything for me & my family.

Wednesday, 9 May 2012

Home: Its Etiquette from Sunnah Perspective


Once in a time, I read a very beautiful quote says that "A house is made of walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams."  There are differences between a house and home. 

Benjamin Franklin said: "A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body". Thus, which one do you prefer?

I need a home, not only a house..

In Islam, home is the place that we enjoy every moment with the beloved ones. The Quran teaches Muslim how to ask permission to enter house and command to respect neighbor. The Prophet PBUH also supports this matter in his Prophetic Traditions. especially mentioned about the etiquette in new house as discussed by Muslim Scholars.

Here are some etiquette of moving into the new house according to the Sunnah.

1) Thank Allah:

First and foremost be grateful for the blessing of Allah, because being grateful is one of the noblest of  deeds. Indeed it is Allah alone that has blessed you and if you are thankful, Allaah will increase you even more in His blessings. Allah says: “And (remember) when your Lord proclaimed: If you give thanks, I will give you more (of My Blessings); but if you are thankless (i.e. disbelievers), verily, My punishment is indeed severe” [Surah Ibraaheem:7] 

2) Say this Dua:

Someone asked Sheikh Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen what a person should say if he enters his home. He said:
“Praise be to Allah. When a man enters his house, he should say….
 أعوذ بكلمات الله التامَّات من شر ما خلق
'(I seek refuge in the perfect words of Allah from the evil of that which He has created)’ three times. If he says this, then nothing will harm him until he leaves that place.”

Also when the Prophet PBUH something that he liked, he would say:
الحَمدُ لِلَّهِ الذِي بِنِعمَتِهِ تَتِمُّ الصَّالِحَاتُ
  (Praise be to Allaah by Whose grace good deeds are completed).” (Ibn Maajah)

There is also another Du'a, from the Quran, Allah says:

رَبِّ أَنْزِلْنِي مُنْزَلًا مُبَارَكًا
"My Lord, let me land at a blessed landing place, and You are the best to accommodate [us]." [Surah al Mu'minun: 29]

3) Say Bismillaah and prevent the Shaytaan from entering:

Saying  Bismillaah on entering your house will keep the Shaytan out. The Prophet PBUH said:
“When a man enters his house, and mentions Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, when he enters and when he eats, the Shaytaan says: ‘You have no place to stay and no dinner.’ But if he enters and does not mention Allaah when he enters, the Shaytaan says, ‘You have found a place to stay.’ And if he does not mention Allaah when he eats, he says: ‘You have found a place to stay and dinner.’” (Muslim) .
This is not only for a new house, rather it includes all houses and all times of entering. So start your life in your new house with the remembrance of Allah.

4) Say Masha Allah:

When you admire your new house, say:
 مَا شَاءَ اللهُ لَا قُوَّةَ إِلا بِاللهِ

That is because Allah said in the story of the two men in Surah al-Kahf:  “It was better for you to say, when you entered your garden: ‘‘Ma sha’ Allaah la quwwata illa Billaah (that which Allaah wills (will come to pass! There is no power but with Allaah)’ If you see me less than you in wealth, and children” [Surah al-Kahf:39]

Ibn al-Qayyim said: “The one who enters his garden or house and sees something that he likes in his wealth or his family should hasten to say these words, and if he does, no harm will befall the thing that he admired.”

 5) Protect your house from Envy and the Evil Eye:

One of the ways in which you can seek protection for your new house from the evil eye and envy is to say what the  Prophet PBUH taught us.
 أُعِيذُكَ بِكَلِمَاتِ اللهِ التَّامَّةِ مِن كُلِّ شَيطَانٍ وَهَامَّة ، وَمِن كُلِّ عَينٍ لَامَّةٍ

(I seek refuge for you in the perfect words of Allah from every devil and poisonous reptile, and from every envious evil eye).” (Bukhaari)

6) Read Surah al-Baqarah:

Reading this blessed Surah will drive the Shayaateen away from your house. The  Prophet PBUH said: “Do not make your houses into graves, for the Shaytaan flees from a house in which Surah al-Baqarah is recited.” (Muslim)
Shaykh Ibn Baaz said : “It seems – and Allaah knows best – that by means of the reading of all of Soorat al-Baqarah, either on the radio or by the owner of the house, that which was mentioned by the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) may be achieved, namely Shaytaan fleeing from that house. (Majmoo’ al-Fataawa)

This shows us that any way that the reading is achieved is sufficient, be it reading it yourself or playing it on the CD, radio, etc.

7) Invite people to dinner:

Make food and invite people to come and eat, because that is a way of showing gratitude to Allah. The Ulama tell us that holding a feast after acquiring property is called “wakeerah” and it is mustahabb (recommended) to do so, like all kinds of feasts that are given on happy occasions.  

8) Stay away from innovations:

There is no proof in the Qur’aan or Sunnah that justifies holding Qur'aan Khwaanis or ‘Khatams’ of ‘Yaa Salaamu’, etc. when a person moves to a new house. We don't have any authentic reports about the Prophet PBUH or the Companions reading the different parts of the Qur'aan or holding Khatams when they, for example, migrated to Madinah and moved to new houses. As a matter of fact, they didn't do this EVER, at any part of their lives, whether they moved or not moved.

Also there is no proof in the Shari'ah of other innovations that people have invented when they first move into new houses such as taking the Qur'an, or taking water and salt before anything else into their new house, burning chilies at the doorstep, etc. That is all superstition and thus forbidden.

9) Adhan:

Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states: "Adhan (call to prayer) is a form of Dhikr (remembrance of Allah); it has been prescribed as a summons to prayer for the specific purpose of informing people of the arrival of the time of Prayer.

While mentioning the specific benefits of Adhan, the Prophet PBUH said that it drives away the Satan while eliciting positive responses from good spirits.  Since Adhan is a form of Dhikr, there is nothing wrong if a person calls Adhan before settling down in a house-- if his intention is simply to drive away devils-- although ideally it would have been better for the person in question to gather his own family members and pray two Rak`ahs of Nafl (supererogatory) prayer thanking Allah for His favor, and read parts of the Qur’an. 

However, simply calling Adhan before occupying a house will not guarantee that the house is protected against devils. 

InsyaAllah, I'm moving to a new house that I will make it a Home for us build new happy life together. May Allah make everything easier for me. Please bless our Home...

**Only Allah knows how difficult to get a Home.

Wordless Wednesday: Oh Buku!

**Hadiah kepada diri sendiri sebelum melangkah ke dunia baru yang berbaki hanya berbelas-belas hari.

Friday, 4 May 2012

Ratu Hati


Entri kali ini adalah sempena seseorang yang terlalu banyak jasa dan pengorbanannya. Saya menulis bukan kerana sempena menyambut Hari Ibu atau yang sewaktu dengannya, tetapi kerana saya belum pernah menulis satu catatan pun buat bonda saya, Puan Hajah Ratnah Wati Ahmad Sonhadji.

Sejak kecil, saya dididik tegas. Itulah ratu hati yang saya panggil Emak sepanjang masa. Walau hanya suri rumah sepenuh masa, beliau ligat menceburkan diri dalam menjalankan bisnes seecara kecil-kecilan pelbagai jenis barang, juga mengambil upah menjahit, malah dulu pernah membuka kelas menjahit untuk rakan-rakan beliau. Selain itu, bonda saya rajin mengajar ngaji anak-anak satu taman perumahan ketika saya kecil suatu ketika dahulu. Kini, bonda sudah bersara menjadi penjahit dan cikgu sambilan, tetapi masih ligat seperti orang muda :)

Mencecah umur 62 tahun pada 2012, kadangkala saya alpa bahawa emak sudah lebih dua puluh tahun mengasuh dan mendidik saya. Walaupun hanya berpendidikan Sijil Menengah Tinggi, bonda tidak pernah lokek berkongsi petua dan pengalaman hidupnya. Peranan bonda sebagai setiausaha utama Ayah adalah layanan kelas pertama, kerana Ayah saya sangat sibuk dengan urusan mengajar dan tanggungjawab beliau yang lain di luar rumah.

Jika mengorek kisah pertemuan dengan Ayah dan Emak sebelum mereka berumahtangga, rupa-rupanya Emak adalah anak murid kepada Ayah ketika belajar dahulu. Allah sudah aturkan pertemuan tersebut walaupun Emak saya berasal daripada Tanah Temasik yang tidak jauh daripada Bandar Johor Bahru. Alhamdulillah dikurniakan 5 cahaya mata atas hasil perkongsian hidup lebih 40 tahun bersama.

Jarak saya dan kakak ketiga sangat jauh. Hampir sama jaraknya dengan umur saya dan anak saudara saya yang pertama. Mungkin tiada rezeki pada waktu itu kerana Emak banyak kali keguguran, kalau tidak mungkin saya ada abang atau kakak lebih daripada tiga. Malah melahirkan saya pada bulan Ogos adalah sesuatu yang amat menyakitkan. Uri saya tertinggal di dalam rahim Emak, dan beliau terpaksa mengambil pembedahan kecil untuk mengeluarkan uri tersebut. Saya dinamakan Saadah oleh Ayah kerana hampir sama dengan nama arwah emak saudara Ayah yang bernama Mushahadah. Malah kata Ayah, nama ini baik maksudnya.

Kemudian, lahir pula adik lelaki yang hanya jarak setahun dengan saya. Oleh kerana kami membesar bersama dari kecil, gaduh dan baik sebagainya, kami rapat sehingga kini. Emak sering membawa kami berdua ke mana-mana sejak kecil kerana menjaga dua anak kecil bukan mudah yang disangka.

Saya nakal, adik saya juga begitu. Tetapi saya tidak pernah menyesal, rotan dan marah Emak suatu ketika dulu banyak membantu saya mengenal erti hidup. Malah sangat bersyukur mempunyai seorang ibu yang sangat mengambil berat, berbanding ibu-ibu lain yang sanggup membiarkan anak mereka berpeleseran entah ke mana. Kini saya sudah dewasa, walaupun tidak dirotan, saya masih dimarahi kerana kadangkala bersikap tidak matang tanpa disedari. Sangat bersyukur kerana masih ada Emak yang menyedarkan, berbanding ibu-ibu lain yang hanya membiarkan.

Sejak kebelakangan ini, saya memandang wajah bonda penuh sayu. Beliaulah orang yang paling sibuk untuk majlis saya nanti. Beliau mahu memastikan segalanya berjalan sempurna. Kadangkala ada sahaja yang tidak kena, kerana kadangkala beliau memikirkan sesuatu yang tidak kita fikirkan. Dan saya sangat bersyukur kerana wujudnya beliau untuk saya melangkah ke dunia baru.

Jika ada yang mengata bonda, baik buruknya,
dia tetap insan yang melahirkan saya..
Jika ada yang tidak berpuas hati terhadapnya,
maafkanlah, kerana tiada insan yang sempurna..
Jika ada yang marah terhadap sikapnya,
maafkanlah juga, kerana manusia sering melakukan kesilapan..
Jika ada yang menghormatinya,
teruskan, kerana yang tua harus dihormati, yang kecil harus disayangi..
Jika ada yang menyayanginya,
sebarkan sayang itu kerana kasih sayang bonda membawa ke syurga..
Jika ada yang mendoakannya,
doakanlah, agar Emak sentiasa dilimpahkan Rahmat Yang Esa..

Semoga Allah mengampuni dosa-dosa ku, dosa-dosa kedua ibu bapaku, berikanlah kesihatan dan umur yang panjang, limpahkanlah rezeki dan nikmat yang halal dan berterusan, kurniakanlah mereka kebahagiaan dunia dan akhirat. Berikan daku peluang untuk menjadi anak yang taat, serta mampu membalas jasa mereka suatu hari nanti. Usah Kau tutup pintu rahmat buat mereka dan anugerahkanlah syurga Firdaus buat mereka di Akhirat kelak.. 

Amin Ya Rabb!

*Foto: Sarapan pagi bersama bonda, Warong Saga, Johor Bahru.

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

Mei: Seribu Rasa

Mei sudah menjelma. Awal Mei, semua pekerja diberikan cuti sama rata. Ada yang menyebut Hari Buruh, ada juga mengatakan Hari Pekerja.

Mei mengunjung tiba. Hari ini sudah hari kedua. Hari bakal berlalu dengan pelbagai rasa.

Mei adalah bulan lima. Sejak bulan sepuluh, aku sudah mengira. Bila agaknya? Nah! Tersenyum-senyum Mei muncul di alam nyata.

Mei tersipu-sipu riang gembira. Tapi, takut dan gemuruh pun sibuk bertandang tanpa dipelawa. Hmm, kenapa ya?

Mei berkata, banyakkan doa.. Usah bimbang. Usah ragu. Allah kan ada...

Mei tidak pernah lupa bertanya. Tanggungjawab baru sedang berjalan ke arahmu, sudah bersedia?

Mei juga tidak pernah melata. Mengingatkan bahawa hari bersejarah yang bakal tiba itu bukan hari bersuka ria, tetapi hari memikul amanah dan memohon Rahmat Yang Esa.

Mei memujuk juga. Jika ada yang dengki dan iri hati, biarkan saja. Usah membalas, tapi doakan yang baik-baik untuk mereka.

Mei menambah lagi, jangan lupa minta maaf pada semua. Kadang-kadang kita tidak sedar dosa kita pada manusia, kerana dosa dengan Tuhan banyaklah jua..

Mei menasihati, kemudian maafkan orang lain pula. Usah menyimpan dendam terlalu lama. Alhamdulillah, aku bukan pendendam orangnya.

Mei, aku mohon agar kau merangkak perlahan, usah berlari kencang, agar aku tenang.

Mei, bukan kau yang aku harapkan sebenarnya. Tapi kepada Tuhan jualah tempat yang disembah dan tempat meminta pertolongan.

Mei, walaupun demikian, aku bersyukur kerana adanya kau yang memberi sinar untuk mengingati hari bahagia.

Mei, doakan aku bahagia. Sebahagia namaku. Doakan aku juga agar mampu membahagiakan keluarga.

Mei, kau istimewa. Tiada kata mampu meluahkannya. Tiada suara mampu mengalunkannya.

Mei, terima kasih daun pegaga, semoga Allah memberkati cinta kita.

Saadah Khair
2 Mei 2012
Bandar baru Nilai