Tuesday, 15 May 2012

10 Days & 10 Tips

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

The Day is coming nearer. 10 days left to change the marital status from single to a married life. Honestly speaking, I feel like it's just a dream because I am still the same person; clumsy and childish.

My mom once said that "Marriage is a new world". When you get used to make everything by your own, now as a wife, you have to get all permissions from the husband. When you get used to be independent, as a wife, you will depend on others and will be depended. Everything will change, but please let the IMAN constantly increased and KNOWLEDGE is continuously gained.

Each person has a dream to be happy. Although my own name can be defined as a HAPPINESS, I'm trying to find and create my own happiness, of course for the sake of Allah.Prof Naquib al-Attas said that Sa'adah can be understood by understanding its opposite which is Shaqawah - rendered into English approximately equivalent of ‘great misfortune’, ‘misery’, ‘straitness of circumstance’, ‘distress’, ‘disquietude’, ‘despair’, ‘adversity’, ‘suffering’. Happiness as mentioned in the Quran not only refer to secular realm, but importantly towards the spiritual realm, because attaining happiness is not an end in itself as the purpose of that is directed to God - Love of God that directed to the Hereafter, related to self both body and soul that is not in the state of doubt. (Refer HERE)

Therefore, to be happy is not only for this world, but for the Hereafter.

In addition to that, I just wanna share 10 tips to a Happy Marriage (similarly not in the world only, but forever in the Paradise), as Allah said: “Enter Paradise, together with your spouses, and rejoice." (Surah al-Zukhruf, 43: 70)

TIPS 1: Fear Allah SWT.
It was the noble practice of Rasulullah PBUH to remind the spouses about the fear of Allah before performing a Nikah by reciting the verses [al-Nisa: 14, al-Ahzab: 69, Ali-Imran: 10) from the Quran. All the verses are common in the message of Taqwa (fear of Allah). The spouses should be first committed to Allah before being committed to their partner. There can be no doubt in the success of a marriage governed by the fear of Allah SWT.

TIPS 2: Never be angry at the same time.
Anger is the root cause for all marital disputes, One companion came to the prophet PBUH and sought some advise. The Prophet PBUH replied, "control your anger" (La Taghdab). The same advice was rendered three times.[Bukhari]. Narrated by Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.".[Muslim]

TIPS 3: If one has to win an argument, let it be the other.
The Prophet PBUH said: "Whoever discards an argument despite being correct, shall earn a palace in the center of Jannah" [Bukhari]

TIPS 4: Never shout at each other unless the house is on fire.
Luqman while offering advice to his son said: "and lower your voice for verily the most disliked voice is that of a donkey" [Surah Luqman: 19]

TIPS 5: If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
The Prophet PBUH said: "A Mu'min is a mirror for a Mu'min" [Abu Dawud]. Advise with dignity and silently.

TIPS 6: Never bring up mistakes of the past.
The Prophet PBUH said: "Whoever conceals the faults of others, Allah shall conceal his faults on the Day of Qiyamah" [Muslim]. And please do remember that everyone makes mistakes and not perfect. In Islam, it is generally not recommended to dwell on the past. So it will be of more benefit if a person does not repeat or bring up the mistake which they had done in past.

TIPS 7: Neglect the whole world rather that your marriage partner.
The Prophet PBUH confirmed the advice of Salman to Abu Darda RA for neglecting his wife, "Verily there is a right of your wife over you". [An-Nasa'i]

TIPS 8: Never sleep with an argument unsettled.
Abu Bakar RA resolved his dispute with his wife over feeding the guests before going to bed. [Bukhari]

TIPS 9: At least once everyday, express your gratitude to your partner.
The Prophet PBUH said: "Whoever does not show gratitude to the people, has not shown gratitude to Allah" [Abu Dawud]

TIPS 10: When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness.
The Prophet PBUH said: "All the sons of Adam are vulnerable to a lot of mistakes; and the best among those are the ones who seek a lot of forgiveness" [Al-Tirmidhi].

Reference: HERE

I end with this Quranic verse. Allah said: “And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” (Qur’an 30:21)

Last but not least,

**O Allah, ease everything for me & my family.

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